ARROW 02
CODEPENDENCY

Mainstream says codependency.
Poor boundaries.
People-pleasing.
Over-giving.
Fear of abandonment.
Needing approval.
Losing yourself in relationship.

That is the observed language.
The outside language.
The language that watches the wound and names what it sees.

But from the inside?
It sounds different.

From the inside,
codependency sounds like this:

Where do you begin and I start?
Where is the line that protects the safety of my tender heart?
Which is yours,
and which is my part?
I don't know where you begin,
and I start.

This dance others do is such a fine art...
being able to lean in without coming apart.
To give themselves without a bleeding heart.

Tell me...
where do you begin,
and I start?

When did loud become silent?
When did trust become violent?
Where did my innocence go?
When did my yes become my no?

Pray someone,
please tell me...
Why, when I love you, do I abandon me?
I hate that your face has become danger to me.
You are under my skin.
You are inside me.
How can we be this close,
yet I still can't see
where I end
and you begin?

Micro-expressions descending like rain,
piercing my body like razor blades.
Non-verbal tones dictate control.
Invisible holds.
Broken souls.

I thought it was weak,
surrendering.
But the answers I sought I found within.
Not the conclusion my hopeful heart was seeking.

This is where we end.
And I begin.

That is codependency from the inside.
Not weakness.
Not stupidity.
Not drama.
Not attention-seeking.
Not "just leave."
Not "why did you stay?"

Codependency is a survival language.
It is what happens when love, safety and danger get wired together.
It is what happens when keeping connection alive meant abandoning yourself first.

That is why observation is not the same as understanding.
You can observe behaviour and still miss the wound.
You can name the pattern and still shame the person.
You can call it codependency and still never understand what it costs to survive it.

This is not me romanticising the wound.
This is me translating it.

This is Arrow 02.
Codependency.
Not from observation.
From lived experience.
From the inside.

One arrow at a time.